Performance Anxiety in men: simple ways to overcome it

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Performance Anxiety in men: simple ways to overcome it

What is performance anxiety?

Sexual performance anxiety, also known as Psychological erectile dysfunction or mental impotence is a kind of erection problem that is not a result of any physical condition which causes a low blood flow to the penis. Performance Anxiety, as the name implies is a result of anxiety or stress, and the body’s reaction to stress or anxiety is to release stress hormones which block natural sexual arousal signals in the brain from getting to the penis. This then prevents the increase in blood flow to the penis that is needed to cause a good erection. If you are able to have an erection when you are alone or before sex but your penis goes limp at the moment of truth, then you are suffering from mental impotence. The good news however is that you can overcome performance anxiety naturally by reversing the cause to your favour.

Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and something to look forward to, but constantly worrying over how you are performing or you will perform sexually, or if you are big enough or if your partner is enjoying it can initiate a stress response in you that will take the pleasure out of the experience, and with time, you start to avoid sex altogether.

In this article, I will give you tips on how to deal with performance anxiety so that you can cure erectile dysfunction once and for all and get your sex life back on track. You will also learn what causes performance anxiety and symptoms to look out for in other to know if you are suffering from this mental impotence.

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How to deal with performance anxiety- symptoms to look out for

You might be wondering “how do I know that my erectile dysfunction is as a result of performance anxiety?”. The simple answer to that question is that you take a look at these under listed symptoms:

  • You are unable to maintain an erection.
  • You experience fear of having sex.
  • A lack of confidence in the bedroom.
  • You have doubts about your sexual performance whenever you make an attempt to have sex with your sexual partner.
  • It takes you a long time to get an erection
  • You lose your erection right before or shortly after penetration
  • You can maintain an erection when you are alone by yourself, but not with a partner.
  • You run away from situations that can result in sex.
  • You have difficulty approaching women.
  • You feel stressed when you find yourself in a sexual situation
  • In stressful situations, you lose your erection or have a hard time achieving an erection.

If you experience one or more of the symptoms listed, then, my friend, you are on the road to overcome mental impotence for good. Keep reading…

performance anxiety

How to deal with performance anxiety- Causes of mental impotence

Before you start trying to go in search of Performance anxiety treatment, you should know that it is important to first of all establish what the cause or your mental impotence is and then the best performance anxiety treatment option for you would be that which addresses the cause or causes squarely. A major cause of performance anxiety is worry. Different kinds of worries that can paralyze your sexual performance include:

  • Fear of not performing well and satisfying your partner sexually
  • A Poor self-esteem, worrying over how you look, such as not having six packs
  • Concerned that your penis will not measure up
  • Worry about having premature ejaculation or taking like forever to reach orgasm

Other common causes of performance anxiety that could possibly result in mental impotence are:

Societal expectations

Living up to societal expectations is known to be one of the most common causes of performance anxiety. In recent times, standards are being set for sexual achievement either in movies, social media, even among peers and even with way people are being so public with their sex life. This has put a lot of men under pressure, causing them to worry if they are meeting up to the set standards. An average man would worry about his own ability to satisfy a woman sexually based on what is generally expected and not what the both of them need from the experience.

Upsetting sexual encounters

A man who once had an embarrassing sexual encounter, in which he was really to blame will be very likely to suffer from performance anxiety in subsequent sexual situations. We know that people are generally sensitive about their abilities, particularly sexual abilities, body image and more; and anything that might disrupt that sensitivity will very likely result in anxiety.

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Inexperience is one of the major causes of performance anxiety as the anxiety over sexual performance seems to be very common in those people who have never made love before, usually due to the pressure they put on themselves to perform. For instance, premature ejaculation is quite common in men who don’t have a lot or even no sexual experience at all. An occurrence such as this can make a man to worry and be really anxious about his sexual performance, leading to the development of performance anxiety, thereby worsening the sexual problems furthers.

Past trauma

People who have had traumatic sexual experiences in the past such as rape can find it difficult to enjoy sex later. The memory of that experience keeps haunting them and shuts down any arousal they are supposed to feel.

Performance anxiety in men – the process

The body’s reaction to stress or anxiety is to automatically release a response that is called the “fight or flight” response. Stress hormones such as norepinephrine and epinephrine are released as the body’s natural response in a stress situation to prepare the human body to run or confront a threat. In the process, the signal that causes increased blood flow to the penis is blocked, because of course, sexual arousal should be the last thing on your mind when you are confronted with a threat. This is the reason why you should not blame your body for responding this way. Performance anxiety leads to a perpetual cycle of even more performance anxiety as you have become so anxious about sex that you will be unable to perform.

performance anxiety

The cycle goes something like this:

You were unable to have an erection while trying to have sex. You felt really guilty and ashamed because you failed in bed. You now start to think that perhaps you are less the man you ought to be. This thought preoccupies your mind and you are worried that it would repeat itself again. You think so much about it that it gradually became a belief. You start to believe you cannot perform. The next time you attempt sex, you cannot perform because you have rehearsed failure so often in your mind. This cycle continues and your mental impotence gets even worse with the passing of time until it becomes established in your heart of hearts that you are a sexual failure.

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Overcome mental impotence – Treatment options that might not be of much help

Medication: medication involves the use of pills like Viagra to cure erectile dysfunction. These pills actually help to obtain an erection. However these are not the solution you need for your performance anxiety treatment. They are used to cure erectile dysfunction that has its roots in physical or medical causes, as such, they are meant for people with physical, but not psychological erectile problems. Pills don’t fix the problem, they just cover the problem up. They are quite expensive, and once you have started taking the pills, your body starts to become dependent on them. you need to keep taking them to get (and keep) an erection. Then pills also have adverse effects and serious interactions with other drugs too. So it will not treat the root cause of mental impotence, and still load you with nasty side effects.

Vacuum Pumps: vacuum pumps can help to get rid of erectile dysfunction temporarily too. They are a very effective way to help you to have an erection. A plastic cylinder is placed over your penis, and air is sucked out of the plastic cylinder with the use of a pump, forcing the flow of blood into your penis. Then a ring is at the bottom of your shaft to keep your penis erect. Just like pills, this method only treats the symptom, not the root cause of mental impotence, and temporarily too which means that you will need to pump up each time you want to enjoy a roll in the hay and use a ring to support, which would remind you of your predicament each and every time you have sex.

How to deal with performance anxiety- get rid of erectile dysfunction for good

There is a lot you can do to cure erectile dysfunction due to performance anxiety and get the best out of sexual encounter with your partner. There are several self-aid techniques to overcome mental impotence and there is also the option of seeing a professional sex therapist to help guide you through the process of how to deal with performance anxiety.

Here are some tips to help you overcome performance anxiety:

1. Communicate with your partner

When it comes to how to deal with performance anxiety, you need to make use of communication to resolve your problem. Keeping you anxiety bottled up inside just makes it worse, not better. Talking with your partner about your anxiety can help ease some of your worries. Working on reaching a solution together might actually bring you closer as a couple and improve your sexual relationship. Talking about your problems, your fears, concerns and what you need to feel secure and safe with your partner. By communicating, you will open up the doors of comfort. Working together is the only manner to help you overcome performance anxiety, and you could not work together if you could not communicate.

2. Talk to a therapist

See a counselor or a professional sex therapist who has got a lot of experience treating sexual problems. This kind of therapy can teach you how to become more comfortable with your own sexuality, and it will enable you to have a good understanding, and also reduce or eliminate the causes of your sexual performance anxiety. They can help you look at your history of anxiety, attachment, childhood, family issues, your sex history and relationship history. The American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT) is a good place to look in search of qualified sex therapists.

3. Exercise

There are many benefits of exercise for the human health, sexual health inclusive. Staying in shape is considered as the key to healthy, strong sexual performance. Exercise improves blood circulation and this can enhance your sex life. Breathing exercises are very good as they can decrease anxiety, regulate your heart rate, and bring positive effects on your blood pressure, as well as muscle tension reduction.

4. Take emphasis off erection

Focusing solely on erection will put you under pressure. For most men, erection is just a sign of that they are aroused and not necessarily the signal to stick it in. It’s OK to be with your partner, erect or not, and be present with them, regardless of penetration. To begin to assume power and control over your anxiety, you need to stand up to it. Tell your erection when you want to use it. Don’t let your ejaculation, fears or even performance anxiety be the dictator your thoughts and your sex.

performance anxiety in men

5. Avoid pornography

Pornography has a way of influencing peoples’ ideas about sex and relationships. Porn is fantasy and not realistic and as such cannot be used as a sex education tool or as a standard for your own sexual performance. Porn addiction can be a major contributing factor to sexual performance anxiety as well as mental impotence. They set unrealistic sexual expectations and make sex less enjoyable.

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6. Cultivate a healthy Lifestyle

In order to get a strong sexual life, you need good exercise, healthy eating habits, good sleep cycles that help your body to relax and reduce anxiety levels. Eating healthy provide your body with essential vitamins needed for good blood circulation that can cure erectile dysfunction. alcohol consumption and use of drug should be avoided.

7. Learn To Talk Dirty

Talking dirty with your partner is a good way to overcome performance anxiety. Sometimes, it is good to be able to express the kind of things you would like to do to each other during sex. Most men have some phrases that can drive them wild if women say them during sex. So, you should let your partner know what your favorite phrases are so that she can use them, and you too can boost your own confidence by saying some of yours.

8. Have Sex regularly

When it comes to tips on how to deal with performance anxiety, frequent sex is a very good way to cure erectile dysfunction. Regular sex has got its benefits. Many studies have reported that regular sex can enhance libido, attachment and romance in most couples. Aside from its amazing physical health benefits, regular sexual intimacy can reinforce the desirability of a couple for each other. This is considered as an ego-improving and affirms sexual self-esteem. Once a wife and a husband fee sexually attached, there will be less to feel anxious in the sexual bedroom.

9. Guided imagery therapy

A very effective Performance anxiety treatment is guided imagery. Guided Imagery is a powerful way to help you relax so that your pent up anxiety can be released. In this relaxed state, there will be increased blood flow into your penis which will ensure that you have a long-lasting erection. The Mental Impotence Healer program by Mike Miller is a guided imagery mp3 that uses “Theta” Brain Wave music to put you into a state of deep relaxation. In this state, your mind becomes more receptive to change. Suggestions and images will guide your thoughts. After hearing the suggestions time and time again, you should experience a shift in your thinking that will take away the anxiety and worry you feel and replace them with a confident belief in your sexual ability.

Finally, you need to take it easy on yourself. There is no need for you to beat yourself up about your sexual performance. Get help to overcome performance anxiety so that you can get back to having a healthy and pleasurable sex life.

Get rid of erectile dysfunction before it gets you!!!

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